feeling vulnerable

// adjective - Easily persuaded to believe something; credulous.

I wonder how many times i've been lied to, no matter how big, small, flat or justified the lie. I admit, i may be having regrets in showing how gullible i can be. I've noticed that some people either take advantage of this or even make fun of me, even if it's just for a joke. Look, it's not that i don't have a sense of humour, but being reminded at how easily it is to be played with something untruthful and trusting someone to believe that it was the truth? It hurts. I don't care if it's a joke, if you didn't mean it, or if you lied to me to save your own back or whatever. I'm courageously saying that i don't deserve it, that having the ability to put trust on someone i thought i could rely on isn't something to be taken lightly of.

I'm not saying that i've never lied, either. But in all honesty, i'm a terrible liar anyway and the guilt of lying especially to those who truly put their trust in me would eat me inside. Someone has told me once(i think it was Affan but i can't remember) that our body is pure and innocent and lying isn't something that's natural; and that's why if one knows how to read body language, they would be able to tell whether someone was lying or not. I can't remember the detailed explanation but yeah that's the general bit about it. Don't get used to lying until you get so used to it and defy your own natural instincts about it; which is to always be truthful.

Some may argue that they lie for the sake of protecting someone that they care about. I'm not saying i disagree with this, because i do believe that in some cases, it could be justified to do so. But there is a fine line in protecting someone else from the truth because it could directly harm them and protecting them from the truth for your own benefits. In the end, in most cases i do think knowing the truth is far better than knowing something that's not true.

All i'm saying is, please don't lie to me because you know that i'll believe you, that i trust you. One tiny mistake, and that trust will be shattered into a million pieces and well, goodluck in gluing it back together.

I'm about to start college soon, and i'm terrified. I hope i hand my trust to the right people, or at least keep my guard up strong enough to not let someone take advantage of my vulnerability and gullibility again.


  1. I think it was me! haha
    yeah, lying hurts our body, and it hurts it so badly that the body FORCES the truth out by showing body language.

    it's cause our bodies WANT to be truthful, they want to be pure and sincere. lying all the time and getting used to it ultimately destroys you.

    I hope I have never lied to you, and if I did, accept my sincere apology.
    I know you're gullible to some extent, but I think that it's a good sign. It shows how pure your heart is, and how you perceive other people, and see them in the best light. I admire that in you, just as there are so many other things to admire from you.


  2. First and foremost, just to clear myself, if I happen to have lied to you before, I truly apologize. Won't do it again insyaAllah.

    A tip I got from my dad.
    Once you're out there starting from tertiary education, trust is a very powerful asset which you should never give to anyone unless you've tested the person and that person passes. Because even lions kill their own cub.
    Be careful to whom you put your trust, even if you feel they are good guys.

    And the best way is,
    Put your full trust in Allah,
    Train yourself to be independently sufficient,
    And enjoy your journey.



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2017 Reading Challenge

2017 Reading Challenge
Kamalia has read 15 books toward her goal of 50 books.