the villain

There's always tweets and tumblr posts around about being heartbroken and getting hurt by someone you love. About being left behind, about being forgotten. In most of these posts, it always seems like the one getting hurt is the victim, and that the other person is the bad guy.

Because why would the good guy allow themselves to hurt someone they claimed to love? Why would the good guy change their mind about their feelings and crush the soul of the person they've made so many promises to, told so many secrets to? Why would the good guy dare --

But what if the villain had feelings too? What if the villain was confused with their feelings, and that time and life had to happen in order to figure out the puzzle pieces of their emotions, of realising what exactly the villain wanted? And what if what the villain wanted, was not the good guy who had been good, who had made the villain happy and sad and laugh and cry and dream of a future together? What if the villain changed their mind?  And what if they didn't mean to? What if the villain says that you can't force feelings to shape itself into the sculpture you imagined, that feelings have their own minds and desires that can't be helped but form and change naturally? Is the villain still a villain over something they can't control? And even if they could control it, are they not allowed to change their mind?

Is it such a crime to leave someone behind when you've changed the cuttings of your puzzle pieces, and they no longer had the right fit into your puzzled life? Perhaps it is, when they initially did fit and you've kept them comfortable and hopeful for a perfect, complete picture. Perhaps it is a crime to have been such a huge part of somebody's life, and to leave and pretend none of it had been important, that none of it had mattered, and making excuses like "you deserve better". Well how fucking unfair is that. A crime indeed.

Well then perhaps i deserve this time in prison.


  1. And finally someone voices this out. Feelings are not something that can be forced, and sometimes, things are just not meant to be the way we wanted.



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2017 Reading Challenge

2017 Reading Challenge
Kamalia has read 15 books toward her goal of 50 books.