Teenage Love: is it right or wrong?


Photo Courtesy: heavenlyb-e-a-utiful

Haha, i can't believe i'm FINALLY going to talk about this on my blog. I'm not really the best person to talk about teenage love, because i myself am still a teenager without much experience and knowledge. But i believe that what i have to say could help some confused Muslim teens about this crazy thing called love.

I understand that in our society today, many teens probably have a special someone they're "in love" with, and it's become a norm until we all think that "coupling" or being in a relationship with someone of the opposite gender during teenage hood is something that's completely okay and harmless.

Well, it may seem harmless because it may seem like you're not doing anything wrong if you don't have any physical contact or stuff like that. But at the same time, what DO you do? If you don't do the physical movie-like stuff, then you do the emotional things. Confess your love, say lovey-dovey stuff to each other, tell the whole world about it, go out with them, text 24/7 and promise things you don't even know you can keep. Basically, emotionally feeling the pleasure of love.  I count saying "I Love You" or those lovey dovey stuff as emotional pleasure by the way, cause you feel bubbly and happy about it. Is that really harmless? In my opinion, no. Maybe it's not directly harmful, but if you think about it, is Allah happy with this? Is Allah happy with us?

Is it okay to feel the pleasure of love(emotionally and physically) before it's even halal? I'm not very knowledgeable, but i now realise that the only time we ARE allowed to have the pleasure of love is when we have already married that special person. When you're married, you even get rewards from Allah SWT for being all lovey-dovey with your husband/wife! You get rewards for telling them you love them, for taking care of them, making them feel special, and all of those beautiful things. It's when your love is blessed by Allah SWT, when it really is harmless and okay to be in love.

That's why Allah wants us to cover ourselves(girls), so that we only show our beauty to our husband when we're married, when our relationship is halal in the eyes of Allah. That's why there are limits for the interaction between boys and girls. When you're married, I daresay, do whatever the heck you want with your husband!Haha. Go be like Jack and Rose, Romeo and Juliet, Bella and Edward, Justin and Selena, or whoever. Personally i think Rasulullah(pbuh) and Khadijah is the most adorable pair, EVER,heheh.

Sometimes, we know that what we're doing is something that's wrong, but for some reason we deny it in our hearts and make excuses, cause we follow too much on what our 'nafsu' wants. In my opinion, we should keep our emotions and thoughts to ourselves until the right time comes for us to share it. Allah has already chosen the perfect person for us, even before we were born. he chose the BEST person for us. No matter what happens, somehow and sometime you WILL be with them. If not now, then in the future. If things don't work out, then that means there's someone better out there, or Allah has better plans for you, even if it doesn't seem like it.

But of course, nowadays teens haven't even finished school yet, they're hardly ready to be involved with marriage and the commitment in one yet. So if you really, really love/admire someone right now, what should you do?

We always have to remember that EVERYTHING we do is for Allah SWT. If we love someone, then we should make sure that Allah SWT loves them too. How do we do that? Encourage them to do good things, to please Allah. Protect them by correcting their mistakes, ask them to properly cover their aurat. Help them succeed in their studies. Give them support and advice. Pray for them. Share your knowledge, help them strengthen their iman, inspire them by being a good example and let them inspire YOU to be the the best that you can be. Be their best friend, nothing more. If you have feelings for them, keep it insideInsyaAllah, one day Allah will bring you both together, and you can finally feel what the true meaning of love is. You don't need to be all lovey-dovey and prove your love now, it'll only displease Allah SWT.
Just a thought. If a man/woman touches a woman/man before he/she is allowed, then that's obviously more out of lust than love. If they truly did love them, then they would protect them rather than take advantage of them.

For those who have a special someone, do take time to think about the things that you do with him/her, if it's something that brings sin or reward. Think about the truth, not what you want the truth to be =) It's never too late to repent. If you truly love them, then ask for guidance from Allah SWT, in hope that he is the right one for you. If your special someone won't accept you anymore because you're trying to do the right thing, which is to please Allah, then don't worry. It's something that has to happen, in order to meet someone who WILL accept you for who you are. InsyaAllah, that person will guide you to Heaven =') For those who haven't confessed to someone they like about your feelings towards them, stay strong. Confessing your feelings could complicate things, so my advice is to try your best to be a wonderful friend to that person. Help them become a good servant of Allah SWT. InsyaAllah with your good intentions, Allah SWT will bring guide you to your soulmate =) And to those who don't understand what i'm talking about, just keep living your life in the way of Allah SWT =)

I've heard from so many married individuals that the love they feel after marriage is different compared to the love they feel before marriage. It's different in a very beautiful way, because finally, the feeling is blessed by Allah SWT. You no longer have to feel guilty. A good man is for a good woman, and vice versa. If you want a good partner, you yourself should be good too. Allah is never unfair. You WILL get rewards for your good deeds.

InsyaAllah, i hope one day i will get to feel Allah's love through the person He chose for me. A love that is blessed by Allah SWT, our Creator,  is something worth waiting and working for. 

A love in this life, and Hereafter. InsyaAllah.

I was inspired to change after reading a short story by Aiman Azlan, you can check it out here for the Malay version and here for the English version. Do take time to read it =)

P.s. I'm truly sorry if anyone feels offended by my opinions. I realised that I HAVE to point out some things that could be offensive, because that's the only way i can make people understand what i'm trying to say. I hope we all only take this positively.

Please understand that the reason i posted this was because i love and care about my brothers and sisters. I made mistakes too, but there's no better time to change, other than now. This is as much of a reminder and lesson to myself as it is to you. I love you all, let's make Allah SWT proud of us, insyaAllah. Allah forgives us, if we repent. May He bless us all.

Peace be upon you.


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2017 Reading Challenge

2017 Reading Challenge
Kamalia has read 15 books toward her goal of 50 books.