serious talk

On the way back home from my school tuition just now, my parents suddenly decided to have the most serious talk EVER. It was probably nothing big to them, but as we talked about it my heart was racing and i just felt like curling up into a ball and disappear. They suddenly talked about wanting me to attend The University of Nottingham, Malaysia.
I acted interested and excited because it was the first time ever that i saw my parents seriously talk about my future. I guess i've gotten used to just going with the flow about these sort of things, and i thought my parents don't really mind where i go and stuff. Turns out i was wrong, they really, really care.
My dad strongly believes that this university has a great reputation and a good name for me to get a good job in the future. He even compared it to IMU, which is the university i was more interested in attending because of the courses that sounded more interesting. But knowing that my dad, the most chilling person in my life actually seriously wanting me to attend this university, it made me want to consider. Since my mum is also very encouraging about this whole thing, i guess i really have to think about it.
But it made me scared. They said that they want me to continue my education straight away in January, which made me realise that SPM is so, so near. Even though i later found out that the first intake for foundation at Nottingham is in April, but the thought that i am so close to ending my high school life and starting a new one with a completely new environment really, really scares me.

I did some research about the campus and stuff, and even watched some videos. I love the idea of being in small classes, and the lecturers being close to the students and all, because that's how it is right now in my current school. I guess i'm very nervous about starting a new life. Nottingham University is an international university, meaning most of the students will be from other countries and i don't think very many of them are malays. Of course, i have absolutely no problem with wanting to be friends with people from other races(i really want to in fact), but i'm just really frightened that maybe i wouldn't be able to fit in. Would people even wanna be friends with me?
It'll be very different from what i'm used to, especially knowing that i'll no longer be in the islamic environment i've been in for the last 5 years.
Even though i spent 4 years in an English-speaking country before this, it's still nerve-racking.


I really don't know why i'm worrying so much, since i haven't even taken my SPM trials yet. I guess it's just one of those panicky moments when you realise you're growing up so fast and you're afraid everything will go wrong if you don't start planning the way you're going to go. I hate big changes, i hate starting over at a new place because i'm afraid. I want to be brave, because it's a phase in life i will eventually have to go through. Other people have managed to pass that phase, so i hope i can too.
Pray for me.


  1. Hi dear :)

    I know you're about to embark on a very long journey right after your SPM, and its normal to feel frightened because thats what actually made me sleepless during my schooling and nearing to SPM days. But dont worry, at ur stage right now, its good to have plans for ur future, and involving parents is another good thing. At least ur in good hands. Did u consider in getting into local universities? Just asking :-) btw good luck with ur SPM, ace it :)

    ps. I have friends in Notts and IMU. There are malays in Notts, mostly scholared students. So dont worry :)

  2. Hi!:)
    thank you so much for telling me all that, it made me feel much better and confident about all this. actually the only local uni i would really consider going to is UIA, the course there is pretty okay i heard :D
    which uni do u go to?:)
    btw again thank you!<3

  3. Glad it made u felt better :-)

    Well UIA was my dream uni too! I even put as top3 when filling for the application and I wanted a more islamic environment while studying, but Allah's plan was greater, I got into foundation in Science at UiTM Puncak Alam. Great place and food,lecturers, very green, breezy during mornings and nights(haha).
    I loved the place to bits :-D

    And when I finished my foundation, here I am in University Malaya, about to finish my First year already alhamdulillah. Do pray for my finals this june yeah XD

    Take care and ur welcome ;)



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2017 Reading Challenge

2017 Reading Challenge
Kamalia has read 15 books toward her goal of 50 books.