Gotta Escape.

Just had one of the most depressing weekends ever.
Its really irritating. I'm a type of person who hates complications in life.
But guess what? My life itself IS complicated. Therefore, all my feelings are all mixed up until i can't even understand myself.

Been feeling like no one understands me, not even my family.
I can't even understand myself.
Maybe my life isn't so complicated, but i'm the one who feels that way? I don't know.
But its so hard to just sit down and not have to worry about anything.
Coz something will always be bugging me.

Feel like going on top of a roof 500 ft off the ground and just yell and scream out loud.
Maybe i'm overreacting with my situations.
Sometimes, i feel like no one cares about me.
But then, when people do want to try to help me, i tend to push them away.
Pffftt, no wonder no one understands.
Arghh, i'm gonna go crazy.
Note to self: NEVER be your own psychologist. 

I watched a wonderful movie, and finished an amazing book. I felt so good afterwards, but then i remembered about my own life. Even listening to crazy music makes me feel better, but only for a while.
I don't know what i'm supposed to do. I'd ask people to help me, but i'm already pushing some away.
What am i supposed to do?

Dear God, please help me through this. Help me breathe without feeling pain.

Its hard to keep a fake smile on for much longer.